5 Tips to Writing Kick Ass Wedding Vows

How to Write Kickass Wedding Vows - j.gracie photography - Small Wedding and Adventure Elopement Photographer

I’m so excited that you are here because it’s a BIG deal to decide to write your own vows! And I’m guessing that right about now, you may be second guessing your decision because it seems DAUNTING! But I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t have to be and you got this Babe!

Being an intimate wedding and elopement photographer, I get to be up close and personal with my couples on one of the most important days of their lives, and because of this, I have had the privilege to witness my fair share of vow readings. One of my favorite things about small weddings and elopements is that more often than not, my couples decide to write their own vows to each other. It is always the sweetest experience and usually ends with me all teary eyed, snapping away on my camera shutter!

Now, I know what you’re thinking…but how the heck do I know what to write?! And that my friend, is why you are here!

You want your vows to express the emotion of your day without being cheesy. You want them to be timeless yet original, genuine and intentional. You want your vows to sound like you actually wrote them! Yea? Thought so 😜

And, finally before we get to the good stuff, I want to speak from experience. One of my biggest regrets from my own wedding is NOT sharing handwritten vows with my husband. Instead, we chose to keep things very simple and straight to the point. And to be honest, I was too nervous to write such personal words and then speak those words in front of so many people. I also felt like I had absolutely ZERO ideas on what to write, I felt like I wouldn’t do our story justice. I know now, that this couldn’t be further from the truth! So if this sounds like you, keep reading friendo!

#1 - Start by making a list of your favorite things about your partner

This list could include attributes, adventures you have gone on together, or even something they do that makes you feel extra loved.

If you are stuck, it’s good to give it a good ol’ brainstorm sesh! Remember, there are no wrong points in a brainstorming session, so even if you feel like it is off topic, still include it in your list, web, outline, however your 5th grade teacher would have wanted it.

This list will help to get your creative juices going and will be a great tool to look back on throughout your writing process!

#2 - Think of your story together as just that, a story

It can be helpful to start your vows with reminiscing on where your relationship started, then transition into how far you have come together, and finish by looking forward to your future together.

#3 - When you do start writing, remember there is no correct way to write your vows. You can literally write them however (and wherever!) you choose!

This means for those of you who are less-is-more kind of people, you are allowed to keep things sweet and simple. You can write out bullet points or a thoughtful three sentences. If you aren’t a big writer and aren’t the mushy-gushy kind of person (as my hubby would say), don’t force yourself to write something that is extra mushy-gushy.

On the flip side, you are probably marrying someone who is all mushy-gushy and who wants to include everything little detail and every piece of their soul into their vows. So let them! Don’t restrict yourselves just because you think your vows are too short or too long…there’s no such thing!

And lastly, your vows don’t have to be grammatically correct. I know, mind blown. Instead, write how you would naturally talk and don’t be afraid to sprinkle in a little humor.

#4 - Hand write them.

Okay, okay I know we are in the digital age, but coming from a photographer, handwritten vows are just more special. There, I said it. Sue me. But seriously, they photograph beautifully and there is something truly authentic about having your individual handwriting included.

Also, using a designated vow book to brainstorm and write your finished vows in is a great way to keep all your thoughts in one place and is completely free of distractions (sorry, Instagram won’t help you here!). And the bonus is that they are way cute!

#5 - Share your vows PRIVATELY.

I know, I know, speaking as a photographer again, but hear me out! Remember when I said that my biggest regret from my own wedding was not sharing handwritten vows with my husband, and that I was too nervous about sharing such personal words in front of so many people?

Well problem solved! If you are like me and want that intimate experience without the audience, share your handwritten vows PRIVATELY with each other before or after your actual ceremony. Then during your ceremony you can relax and take in the moment of just being there with your person. Also, having a private vow reading really helps create an intentional wedding experience for you and your partner! Win-win!

You can even take things one step further in a state like Colorado where self-solemnizing (or self-uniting) marriage is legal! This means you don’t need an officiant and you are your own witnesses! Epic right!? It’s truly the most private and intimate way a couple can get married.

As you can tell, I’m pretty passionate about my couples and their decision to make their wedding day truly intentional and unique to them. Being able to capture such an intimate time in my couples lives is a privilege I will never take lightly and for me, it really is all about the experience they share! I feel strongly that sharing personal words on your wedding day is such a raw and real way to foster a deeper connection with your partner. I hope after going through these tips, the task of writing your vows seems less intimidating.